Dancing With the Stars
by bebekids
Summary: Famous actress Isabella Swan is a celebrity on dancing with the stars, and Edward is her cocky and arrogant dance partner. Enough said. ExB
1. Off To LA

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Anything else...ask dancing with the stars. Or Stephenie Meyer. Whichever.**

Huh. You'd think someone born with at least a thousand webbed left feet wouldn't be able to dance, right? That's what I thought. Here I am, without a clue what I'm doing, mind you, trying to figure out what in the hell I'm supposed to say on the season premiere, but still trying to locate my heat -fat burner -exercise contraption whatchamacallit that Rosalie bought for me. She said it's supposed to get rid of the fuckery women call a muffin top, but I don't think it works. I mean, how is some special cream and a fucking burrito wrap supposed to help my life? Really, '_as seen on tv'_ needs to get its' shit together.

You see, Rosalie is my personal trainer's girlfriend, and my manager slash best friend. Although the bitchy times may roll from both of us, I'd still take a bullet for her. Alright, the bitch fit rages don't always pass calmly with the storm, but it's as close as shit can get to being okay. We'd been best friends since Emmett introduced us, three years ago, and I guess he really values my opinion. Through all the years he's been my trainer, I've watched him fly after at least a few hundred girls. I guess he wanted to show me he's serious.

"Aha!" I yelled aloud, to no one, specifically. I found the dead wrap! It was behind the shoe rack in my closet. The third one, to be specific; I have seven. Because of my roles in multiple movies by the same wonderful author writing the same shit for years, I'm famous. Red carpets, award shows, everything. But, it's enough money to support Charlie since the accident. Nothing the Oscar winning Isabella Swan can't handle, right? But that's why people invented makeup. To cover up the scars you don't want anyone to see. Not that I have many, but it's still something I don't usually have daily pity parties about. Charlie's my dad, and he doesn't believe in show business. No acting, dancing, singing, any of it. Originally, my mother was, and still is, the drive behind my career. I started doing diaper commercials and baby food advertisements when I was around two, and it stuck. I've spent years in certain kids' TV shows and movies, and finally, when I turned eighteen, I found Emmett. Things in my career had just started to pick up, as I was playing in more adultishly roles than before. Charlie, being a devout serious Lutheran, doesn't believe in any women entertainers. I still think that's the cause of their divorce, which happened right after my first TV show, but it doesn't matter anymore. _Nothing_ wants to go my way anymore. I know it's conceded and fucking stupid to complain about anything with the life I have, but I'm still in a pickle. Charlie's accident, which handicapped him from the waist down, happened four months ago. It costs thousands of dollars to pay for the in home nurses and medical equipment, which isn't a problem, but am I supposed to give my father what he sees as dirty money? Money earned from '_flaunting myself'_ out to the public.

"Bella?" Victoria calls. She's my evil bitch sent from hell dietitian trying to squeeze and torture me to fucking death. "I have your plans for next week. I'm thinking we can cut back the protein now..how do you feel about water crackers?"

Fucking crackers? Where did the fun go in life?

"Sure, whatever's necessary." I learned out of this line of work that it's best to go with the flow and not to question too much. She nodded and left the room.

What else goes in my suitcase? Socks, underwater...not much. Apparently the freakish fucking tight dresses all the beautiful celebrities wear on the show requires going commando. _P__eachy. _I remove myself from my closet and drag my half full suitcase onto the carpet in front of my bed. I toss in a few things on my nightstand and call it quits.

Who the hell has time for packing? Oh, right. Insanely rich movie stars who have a whole band of bitchy stalkers preventing her from lifting a finger. I sigh and plop back onto the floor.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, I try to find crazy bitch, ahem Victoria so I could eat. She hadn't been letting me eat more than 600 calories a day to make sure I fit into the insanely tight evening premiere dress. My stylist, Alice, would beat the shit out of me if I did. It's a handmade Cullen original, so I'd better watch my ass.<p>

"Victoria," I call, but I'd really rather starve then deal with this.

"Yes, Isabella?" she says. Her voice is a sickly sweet, a voice that would match a child with pigtails and a gigantic pink lollipop. "Did you need something? I was just getting off the phone with James.."

"Lunch, please." Sweet and to the point.

"Oh!" she lurches from she spot like it's the fucking easiest thing to forget her client has to eat.

"I'll tell Angela to make you grilled chicken and steamed green beans, Does that sound ok?" she asks.

"Sure," I agree. It's not like I could so easily ask for chocolate cake.

Angela is my private chef I just recently hired, Rosalie hired her for me. She's a good chef, except she's gotten specific instructions not to make any dessert.

_Fuckers._

I'm a little more calm after I've eaten. Rosalie comes into the kitchen and hands me my cell phone.

"It's for you," she mouths.

"No shit, sherlock. It's my phone." She rolls her eyes and holds the phone out farther. I take it and press it to my ear.

"Bella!"

"Hey, mom! How's New York going?"

"Just fine, sweetheart. How's L.A.? But you know, I met this handsome man named Phil at the movies, and he is _hot! _You know I haven't dated anybody since your father and I really think.."

"Mom," I interrupt. "Can we please not talk boys? I kinda have to focus on my handicapped left feet."

"I know, silly. That's why I called. I sent my leg warmers from dance school when I was your age in the mail. I hope you get them in time before you leave. Although it is in three days, right? Yes that's right. That's plently of time. I wanted to come to see you, but there's no time!"

"Yes, mom." I say. I love my mom more than anything, but if you kept age score, she's 19 and I'm 41. She still calls me her middle aged child.

We wrap up the conversation on the topic of the show.

"Are you sure you want to do this, honey? If you really don't want to maybe Rosalie can.."

"That's ok. I'll talk to you soon, alright? Rose is getting impatient to try out that fat burner. Did you know how low as seen on tv is going?"_  
><em>

She laughs. "Yes, I did, honey. Now go exercise with Rosalie. I love you."

"Love you too." I hang up and hand Rosalie the phone. Because of past Twitter mishaps, I'm not allowed to carry my phone.

"Thanks, B. Now let'

* * *

><p>s go find Emmett and shake our asses in front of our men."<p>

I scoff. "_Felix, _ is not my man. He still gives me the creeps. Who requires to wear a gigantic ass black robe to tend to a pool?"

Rosalie laughs and shakes her head. "But seriously, go change."

Thirty minutes later, I'm sweating in places I didn't know sweat could reach before. Well, I knew, but-

"Push harder, B." Emmett coaches. I guess I'd slipped a little. I pump my arms harder than before to keep up pace.

Doing push ups somehow remind me that I hadn't had sex in a while, something celebrities have a hard time doing in secret. It's something I'd shied away from since Emmett and Rosalie started dating. You see, the first time I had sex was with Emmett, when we were eighteen and stupid, one, and desperate and rebellious, two. We had no feelings for each other what so ever, but both of our lives were to public to do it any other way. Enough said, it took a while to get over the awkwardness knowing you had sex with your best friend to get it out of the way.

"Can I stop now?" I ask him, huffing through my mouth.

"Yeah, sure," he says, barely listening. I don't bother to look and see what's got him so preoccupied, and get up from the ground and grab a water bottle out of the mini fridge.

That night I lie thinking about my life for the next 3 months. My dance partner, the judges...they don't decide to tell you anything until you get there. I just hope I get someone with two right feet to match it up.

* * *

><p>The next morning I wake up to see Emmett jumping up and down on my bed.<p>

"Belly boo! Wake up!"

"Shut up, Em." I throw my pillow at his head but he neatly dodges it. "Is there a reason you insist on being so irritatingly-..irritating?"

His ears turn pink after I finish.

"Oooh, do tell, Emmett. What's got your panties in a bunch?" I immediately sit up, and prop my head on my hand.

"Ok, look, B. I want to ask Rosalie to marry me."

"Holy shit seriously Em?! Oh my gosh when?"

He shushes me, even though there's no one there to hear us. Rosalie must still be in the guest house.

"Saturday night, after the premiere."

I nod, and try not to giggle. Emmett's serious face.. it's priceless. I can't help but feel my best friend is growing up. I sort of want to cry.

"Okay, Emmett. You have my blessing if that's what you're asking for."

"Shit, no. I was asking for your help with the ring."

"You haven't bought it yet?" Wasn't it customary for the guy to wait around scared shitless with a ring in his pocket? I'm not one to talk. My forever alone status isn't going to change.

"No, I plan on soldering a silly band to her finger. I already bought it, I just want you to look at it. It's a pretty big rock, and I'm not sure what she'd want. Or her ring size. Or..."

"Okay, Em. I got your back. Can I see it?"

He nodded and patted his pants pockets.

"Shit, I forgot it. Yikes!" he leaps off my bed and runs out the door. He must have left the ring in their room.

Rosalie and Emmett live in the guest house attached to my giant one. They used to be down the hall, but their constant ahem, romping kept me awake, and Alice would never pussyfoot around with my face. One purple bag and my housemates had to haul ass out to the guest house. It's a little smaller than mine with white walls and black shudders.

"Bella! Change of plans! Get up!" Rosalie yells.

"What happened?"

"We're leaving for the studio today. I think you'll need to have a while to scope the city before the show starts."

Well, here we go.

**Well, there's chapter one. Do you guys think I should switch POVS between Edward and Bella? Review, please, to tell me how I'm doing, and if I get enough, I'll update again. Reviews are better than sweaty Emmett...!**


	2. Come On Edward, Seriously

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sob.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Look, I just want this to be over," I say to Jasper. He's trying to get me to relent and do the stupid show, but I'm not too sure anymore. It sounded like a good idea at the time, after I won the last dance competition of the season, I needed something to keep me occupied.

"Come on, man. You're already in this. Can't take back your signature." he reminds me.

"Right, but things with Kate are finally getting better." Kate is my on and off girlfriend that I sometimes like and sometimes don't. I think it has something to do with the sex for me, and the cred she gets with dating a professional dance teacher for her.

"Edward, get it together. Think about it. There's mostly likely an insanely hot girl to be your dance partner."

"Ha," I scoff. "_Most likely. _ I don't think that was guaranteed in the contract."

He laughs and sits back further with his beer.

"I still have to decide whether I should break up with her now."

We were already in L.A., but I had told her I'd think about it on the flight down.

"I know, dude. Just drop it. You can always pick it back up later when it's over." he suggests.

"No, that's not gonna work. She's an attention hog, and my publicity with the show is just going to feed that. It's done."

_Goodbye pussy._

"Whatever you decide, bro."

I sigh and pull a long swig of my beer. I'll call her after we leave...hopefully sober.

* * *

><p>"What the hell do you mean, Edward?!" Kate yells into the phone. I thought this would go better. <em> Yea, right <em>Edward. Like the bitch is gonna be completely fucking keen...

"Look, I just don't think we'll be able to have much contact with my schedule and, things just weren't working out..." Alright, that's not entirely true, but it's part of the standard break up speech. I truly hate whoever came up with this shit.

"Go screw yourself over with your tap shoes. Fucking pansy." she says and hangs up. _Ouch. _That hit deep. Couldn't care less, though. I strip down and jump into the shower in the pent house hotel room. My dick instantly stands at attention from lack of sex, and I eagerly but grudgingly wrap my hand around it. I grunt as my pace gets faster and I get close to reaching my climax. It takes awhile until my jizz hits the shower wall and flows down the drain. I lean my head against the wall and wonder what I'm going to do.

_Go fuck yourself with your tap shoes._

Yeah, right.

* * *

><p>"Edward, come on." Jasper says.<p>

"Alright, alright, I'm coming."

The driver, Mike, rolls down the window. "We're late, sir."

"Shit. Okay, let's go." I get in and he speeds off.

"Where to, sir?" Mike asks, and Jasper answers.

We pull up to the studio a few minutes before schedule. I paid Mike an extra twenty to speed. Heidi would whip my ass if I'm late. I bust into the front office.

"Mr. Masen, correct?" the receptionist asks.

"Yes." I answer curtly.

"Okay," she says. "Head down the hall to your right and you should find the lounge with your partner."

"We're allowed to meet before filming?"

"Of course," she says.

I disregard what she says next and head down the hall.

"Hey, I'll catch you before you leave."

"Sure, sure." Jasper nods and heads down the other hallway.

I stop in front of the door with the label, LOUNGE on it. I consider knocking, but decide against it and push the door open. Inside there is a girl with fairly long brown hair pulled into a ponytail. I can't see her face, as she's turned away from me. I clear my throat. She turns around, no, almost jumps out of her skin. Couldn't she hear the door open?

"H-hi," she says. "I'm guessing you're my dance partner?" She cocks her head to the side and scrunches up her eyebrows.

"Yes, assuming we're the only ones in the room?"

"Yea, it's just us. I guess all the other partners have their own lounges as well. There's an adjoining studio, if you want to look." she offers. I nod and move towards the door when she stops me.

"I didn't get your name."

"Edward," I answer, and don't stop to ask for hers. She's hot as fuck and I can't wait to see her dance, but going for her spells danger. I'll just have to deal with wanting to fuck her silly from a distance. No problem.

The dance studio is amazing. It looks similar to the room in my studio at home, except this one has extra room for the camera crew.

I give the room one last once over and go to the door, when I hear voices in the the other room.

"Good luck, B!" a big voice booms.

"You'll do great, Bella!" says another, a woman.

_Bella._ I like it.

"Thanks, guys. I'll see you later." Bella says, and I take the door closing as my cue to leave. She glances up at me briefly before I grab a water bottle off the table and decide on making small talk. Baby words can't hurt, right?

"So, do you know what dance we're going to do, Bella?"

She scowls, "The name's _Isabella_," she hisses,"to you. And no, they haven't told me yet."

_Well damn. _I try to play it off and shrug.

"Do you have any dancing experience?" I ask, and my voice almost sounds high.

"A little. I took ballet when I was young."

"Well, Bella-"

"Don't call me that." she snaps. I grin and go to sit across from her.

"Why not?"

"It's a name strictly saved for close associates only. You'd realize I only go by Isabella in public. Bella is too personal."

I scoff,"We'll be dancing so close you couldn't drop a magazine between us, and you think Bella is too personal for that?"

She sticks out her tongue like a child. "My name, my rules."

I open my mouth to object, but think better of it. "Alright," I agree. You learn not to upset your partner in the dancing business. They're notorious for stepping on toes.

I sit back and stare at her face or the first time since meeting her. She has a heart shaped face with beautiful eyes that don't disclose her age.

"How old are you?"

She sighs, "How polite. Fifty-seven."

"I apologize. I was just curious."

"I'm 21." she says, and looks away. This starts sort of a game of twenty questions, so by the end, we know each others family, pets, and favorite colors. All the fucking elastic relationships depend on that information.

We suspected the director or someone to come and fill us in on our dance so we can start practicing, but nobody came. So we left at around seven, without any goodbyes. I caught up with Jay and we head back to the hotel. I crash thinking about Bella. Isabella on my bed, me fucking the shit out of her. Usually I don't have fucking sex fantasies and not be able to fulfill them easily. This is something completely and entirely new.

**Alright, can we get to fifteen reviews? That's the standard for the next chapter.**


	3. All That Ass

**Don't sue me. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm not that cool. Other than my characters' personalities.**

Ass. Ass. ASS. Damn, people are assholes. But, Cullen was sexy. A sexy asshole, but sexy nonetheless. Since I met him, I've had four fucking sex dreams about him, and I met the bitch yesterday.

Crawling out of bed, I stretched out and cracked my foot, then yelped when Alice turned the corner into my room. She was carrying a duffle bag that should've been way too heavy for her in one hand and coffee in another. I groaned and fell back to the bed at the sight. Alice and coffee meant more caffeine inspired bullshit to start my day.

"Rise and shine, baby bell, we've got work to do." Alice had started calling me baby bell per Emmett, who used to call me cow bells. Charming, right?

"Go to shits, powder nose, I've got sleep to do." I said, then turned over in my bed towards the wall. "Wait, how the hell did you get into my hotel room, anyway?"

She groaned. "Fuck, Lucy get up! Sleeping in makes wasted opportunities."

"Lucy?"

"Lucy Goosy, because of your feet. You should go at least get the webbing removed. Doesn't it hurt?"

I threw my pillow at her and rose to my feet, out of the fuckery down mattress. High give for Bella.

"Get morning ready," she called, laughing. So I showered, brushed my teeth, and brushed my hair. I hate morning showers with a firey passion, but I did just for my Ally pooh. That's some real love right there, like crab meat. I stood in front of her with only underwear on, knowing she had something for me to try on. She showed me a shimmery red mermaid gown that was an original, but probably worth $2100. As she put the dress over my head, I started to talk.

"Why the fuck would you fucking fuck with your fucking dance partner? I should set the bitch's hair on fire. But it's so fucking bronze it's probably retardant."

She paused, then kept fastening the front clasp bra on the inside.

"You never told me your partner was Edward Cullen. And here I thought we were best friends..."

"Alls, huh? You know him?" She shrugged, "He's my brother. He goes by our grandfathers first name as his last. Does he still match his socks? I used to coordinate his outfits for him in high school. I-"

"Alice, so why is he so rude? And hot?"

"Dad," was the only thing she said. She took off her canary yellow heels and put them beside the bed.

"I did good." She said, sitting back on the bed. "Spin around," I slowly twirled as coordinated as possible and I heard her sigh.

"Baby bell is so beautiful!" She gushed. I rolled my eyes. "Now take it off, before you ruin it."

"How the hell could I ruin this one?" I said, letting the sarcasm drip.

"Bella. The pheasant, the fire lot, even the Mary Jane, all dresses you've somehow managed to royally fuck up."

I looked away. Those dresses weren't my thing. The fuck ups weren't necessary, but I thought I was improvising. Not everyone was born to be a fashion designer. She sighed.

"Anyways," she began unfastening the dress,"I'll see you at 4:30 pm in two days in your dressing room. Gain a pound and you'll lose an ear."

"Okay, Alice, okay. I know how to starve myself without a chef or Icky Vicky. I'm a big girl."

"You better not turn into one by Saturday."

"Shut up, Alice. I have better things to do."

She blinked. "Like what?"

"Maybe I'll call Felix and we'll go Jedi fighting together."

She laughed,"Okay, Bella. Good for the muscles."

By now she had the dress in its garmet bag and was almost ready to leave.

"Oh, did Emmett tell you he's going to propose?" She asked.

"Yeah. He was sweating shits the other day, freaking out about the ring." I said. "That made me sad. Two of my best friends are leaving me." I was seriously depressed about this shit too. No more Em, no more Rose...

"Bella! They are not leaving you! I've seen it, they won't, Hun."

I sighed and flopped back on the bed and smashed a pillow over my eyes. When I heard the door close I got up to call my mom.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Sweetheart! Is everything ok? It's six am here."

Oh. Whoops. "Sorry mom, I forgot."

I hung up.

"Hello?"

"Belly? What's good?"

"Nothing, Em. Just a little worried."

"About what?" He asked. I dodged his question.

"When are you gonna ask Rosie to marry you?"

"Uhh...any day now Bells. Why, you got any ideas for me?"

"Umm," I paused,"We can take a jet to write the words in the sky."

He laughed. "That'd be your money, Bell. You don't pay me enough."

"Yes I do. You almost make more money than I do. And what would be wrong with me paying for it?"

He sighed. "It's a man thing, Bella. Too much pride."

I snorted. "Don't be stupid. You're reminding me of Edward."

"Who? Oh, that crazy prick that's supposedly your dance partner? No way. That's low, Belly."

I laughed. "Oh, did you know that the asshair is Alices' brother?"

"No. Really? They're nothing alike. Who-babe,who are you talking to?" Rosalie cut in.

"Uhh, Jake from State Farm?"

"Asshole."

Emmett laughed. "That's my Rosie."

"Hi Rosalie," I called. "I can't believe you're marrying this asshole." I muttered. SHI-

"I'm what?!" She yelled.

"Bella you fuckin' idiot! Rosalie, I-"

Suddenly Rose started crying. I couldn't understand what she was saying, and Emmett hung up the phone.

Well, shit faced Bella, good job. I must pat myself on the fucking back for this one.

Laying still, I'm still very confused as to what supposed to be doing all day long. I could call them back, but they wouldn't answer. I pick up my phone (which Rose was so kind to give back) and called the other powder nose.

"Bella, darling! How have you been?"

"Great, Tanya. I haven't talked to you in a while, so I figured a good morning call was an order." Tanya was an old friend I had from a tv show about five years ago. We've stayed in touch since then, and I try to visit her whenever I'm in town.

"Of course, Bella. So, do you have plans today?"

I sighed. "I'm not sure, actually. My manager and I are at a bit of a problem. I should call her back, but I shouldn't."

"Then don't. How's brunch at Chagde's sound, around 11? It's right past the L. A. border. You are in the city now, right?" She asks.

"Yeah. That sounds fine." I hang up the phone. And lie there. I'm pretty sure I fall asleep.

"Belly...belly. Belly-bee. Wake up."

"What? How is everybody fucking around in my room today?"

"Geez, bells. A little arrogant to have just almost ruined my life."

"Oh, shit." I lie up in bed. "I'm really sorry, Emmett. What happened?"

"She said yes," he paused, "but after going through like five different emotions at once. It was insane. First yelling, then crying, blubbering, smiling, laughing, then freaking out. I think she's afraid to tell her parents."

"Why would she be? Her parents are great." They were. The hales owned a house in Alaska and were very welcoming, considering I broke a $300 bottle of champagne the first night I met them. Not my fault, people. It's just the general lack of equilibrium.

"Yeah, they are, but, uhh.. Rosie got into an arguement with her dad the last time we visited. It was over why she had decided to get a job through me instead of on her own. Her defense was that she loves the two of us so much it didn't matter."

"So, she thinks her father will be upset she's permanently choosing you?" I asked.

"He expected me to choose sides, tell Rose to be independent. But I don't want my Rosie away from me."

"Me either." We sat in silence for a while. "Do you know if I have anything to do today?"

"Explore."

"Tanya Denali invited me to lunch."

He laughed. "Want me to play body guard?"

"Thanks Em. I got it."

"Okay, Bells. See ya."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"So, you didn't tell me you were interested in Edward yet."

I stopped chewing. "Who told you that?" When I say asshole...

"People magazine. So it's not true?"

"Wait, I'm a fucking magazine? Since when?"

"Shh!" She says even though we're in a private area.

"Well did it say who started the rumor?"

"Of course. Edward did."

**Well guys, you must hate me. Sorry for the long wait, but it does take time to craft a new shitfaced version of Bella. And I see you, ghost readers. I'm one too. But be verbal- spread your comments to me. **

**-LOVE TO ROCKS AND JESUS**

**bebekidz**


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